Archive for May, 2009

Bill Gross from Idealab in his 2003 Ted Talk:

Read Full Post »

I am just ripping off Andrew Sullivan today. It loses something in the bridge where they start to critique the video, but ends strong:

Fonzie’s been cloned.

Read Full Post »

This is the most brilliant post-modern comedic sketch I’ve ever seen:

What? They’re serious?

Oh… man. Where do you begin?

Hat tip to Andrew Sullivan. And hat tip to AS for the blogging phrase “hat tip.”

UPDATE: The comments on YouTube are incredibly vicious (and, at times, completely appropriate). I don’t agree with these guys, but they’re pretty young. I just don’t think liberals serve themselves well when they savage people. Yeah, these guys are co-opting a cultural form that their ‘side’ has criticized and attempted to censor for years. But I don’t think it’s malicious, just clueless.

On the other hand, they are Army enlistment age, and go to Dartmouth. That’s kind of an easy target when they’re ‘rapping’ about soldiers spilling blood. Feel free to enlist at any time, boys.

Read Full Post »

Nice little article here. I pretty much agree with all of it. Simmons is to sports columns what Prince is to musical output: needs an editor, but you still want to hear all of the unfiltered weirdness. Not that Simmons is half the genius Prince is (sorry Bill).

I go back ‘n forth on Simmons. There are times when I’m completely in awe of the balls it takes to repeatedly bite the hand that feeds him. He’s of the Henry Rollins school of Truth Telling. On the other hand, some of his celeb biting can be a bit juvenile and downright mean, and his lusting after female celebs can be stuck in high school.

But then I remember he’s a married man, and it all makes more sense. Plus, if I’m honest, I’m probably just jealous he gets to hang with Malcolm Gladwell.

The thing I love about the column is, despite his huge Celtic bias, Simmons loves the game of basketball, so much so that he wants fans to record, diagram, and publish questionable officiating practices to get to the Truth of the matter. That’s awesomely insane, and Simmons knows there’s some NBA psycho somewhere who will do the work for free, in a manner to rival Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight. Can’t wait to see that site.

The FiveThirtyEight of basketball officiating. Nice work, Sports Guy.

Read Full Post »

Always have, really. What a song writer.

Read Full Post »

And by this, I mean Nuggets defeat Lakers and Kobe (tied 2-2), Magic defeat Cavs and the Chosen One (Magic up 3-1). And it would make David Stern cry. And so many others so, so happy.


I’ve been stunned by the (relative) even-keel officiating in these playoffs (besides the occasional bullshit T on Howard). Even when the refs are trying like hell to keep the Cavs in it, the Magic have been finding a way to pull it out. And we’re slowly seeing that the Lakers don’t have enough pieces around them to stop a team like the Nuggets, one that bangs ’em around, has an unflappable point guard in Mr. Big Shot, and hits from outside with JR Smith.

All the Kobe vs. LeBron talk could be for naught. (And by the way, HOLY F**K, ESPN with your stupid-ass ‘Could LeBron have played football?’ articles. I don’t know. Do you think the Hulk could beat the Thing in a fight? SHUT UP.) The (admittedly great) Kobe/LeBron puppets could go to waste. All because two teams said, “Wait a minute. We’re still here. We will beat you and the refs.” The sheer amount of disrespect the national media have given Denver and Orlando is mind-boggling.

And could someone please explain to me how Magic Johnson is allowed to commentate on a game when he owns a stake in the f*cking Lakers? How could he possibly be considered impartial? Or even allowed to open his mouth to comment on the game? Are they not even pretending anymore?

Honestly, look at these pages. Not one “expert” picked the Nuggets or Magic to win the series. Not one. They’re all in the tank for a Lakers/Cavs series. Just tragic.

Go Denver. Go Magic. Whew. I feel better.

THE GREAT NIKE PUPPET COMMERCIALS (Credit where credit is due):

The Cookie One:

“Beef and Broccoli!”

The Chalk One (which is great because the whole chalk bullshit is a move that Lebron ripped off from KG):

“Why do we live together?”

Here’s a couple of nice articles: first is Rick Reilly’s ‘Letter to God’ pleading for a Denver Championship. Here’s my favorite of late, former ‘Strib writer Steve Aschburner’s great take on the LeBron ref bias. From Dwight Howard’s blog:

“I told y’all the other day that we find it really disrespectful that everybody seems to be pulling for LeBron and Kobe [Bryant] to get to the Finals,” Howard posted Memorial Day morning. “Every time I look at TV, it seems like that’s all anybody is talking about. It’s like nobody is even giving us a shot at winning this series and we’ve used it as motivation.

“We’re up 2-to-1 and we have a long way to go vs. the Cavs, but hopefully we can mess up those plans of getting Cleveland and L.A. in the Finals. If the lil’ ol’ Magic make it, what will they say then? … Nobody out there on ESPN thinks that we can do it, but we think we have everything that it takes right now to bring that ‘ship back to O-town. Aiiight, y’all I guess I gotta go watch another one of these LeBron and Kobe commercials on TV. Naw, just kiddin’.”

Read Full Post »

So cool:

I was watching this game at an undisclosed location in Los Angeles. When the calls weren’t going their way, the Laker’s fans in the bar sounded like hundreds of cats being roasted alive. It was a good night.

PS. No cats were harmed in the crafting of that witless analogy.

Read Full Post »

And the hits keep coming. Jesse bags another chicken hawk, Brian Kilmeade.

I think he’s at his limit. Just killing ’em.

Read Full Post »

I was discussing writing with a friend of mine, and thought about a quote I heard one time: “Writing is revenge.” I looked it up, and although I couldn’t find it, I did find a couple of other great ones:

The best revenge is not to become like the one who wronged you.
-Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Meditations

what sweeter revenge against this world & its injuries
could you imagine than lounging in bed with the one
you love?….I think most men are like me in this regard.
-sean elder

The grudge you hold on to is like a hot coal that you intend to throw at someone, only you’re the one who gets burned.

-Siddhartha Gautama

What though the field be lost?
All is not lost; th’ unconquerable will,
And study of revenge, immortal hate,
And courage never to submit or yield.
-John Milton, Paradise Lost. Book i. Line 105.

Courage never to submit or yield. That’s so incredibly Braveheart-baddass. I can hear Sir Galahad from the Python’s Holy Grail:

Sir Galahad: Couldn’t I just submit for a little while, and then I’ll get back to the immortal hating and the unconquerable willing?

Sir Lancelot: No. Back to work. What part of ‘Never’ are you having trouble with?

Read Full Post »


Good times.

Read Full Post »

Some pretty salient points on the “Drug War,” and absolutely spot-on in his critique of Capitalism as Social Framework:

David Simon:

Capitalism is a wonderful engine, but how we mistook it for a social framework for how to build a just society and interpreted it that way is just incredible.

There’s also a couple of great points on Overtime, which is the internet-only after thought:

Read Full Post »

Weirdly brilliant:

Audio from Extras, my favorite recent comedy before EastBound and Down came on.

Read Full Post »

The Onion owns again.

“Maybe it’s because I can see my own mistakes.”

Between this, and South Park, people are wising up.

Read Full Post »

What a maroon. What a nin-cat-poop.

Read Full Post »

Because really, who’s more qualified to talk about Jazz than Paul Shirley?

All kidding aside, Shirley’s article touches on something that I’ve thought for years, and articulates it pretty well. Namely, there’s a number of sports that you have to have played (in my case, poorly) to really love them. Baseball is chess. I’ve known so many people that have said to me over the years, “Baseball is soooo boring.”

And it can be. But not if you love the team, and the Zen-like day-in, day-out grind of baseball that is so much like life: Today was a good day, to quothe Ice Cube. On days that you get slapped around like Pacquiao beat Hatton, you think, “There’s always tomorrow.” You have slumps. You have streaks. Sometimes nothing goes your way. Sometimes everything does.

I think that’s why baseball interviews are so trite, like Crash coaching Nuke in Bull Durham. Because so much of daily living is trite: “We’ll get ’em tomorrow.” “Take ’em one day at a time.” “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.”

Where was I? Oh, yeah: Paul Shirley on Jazz. I think his basic premise is correct: basketball is best appreciated by people who played it, even if it’s only pickup Saturday basketball. Jazz is best understood by people who really get music, or have at least played an instrument. Which reminds me of a Itzhak Perlman quote.

When a woman said to him after a concert: “I’d give anything to be able to play like you.” “How about twelve hours a day?” he responded. I’m murdering the quote, but the idea stands. Jazz is a rarefied art form (despite my classical musician example).

How’s that for a meandering, poorly written-and-constructed post? Eat it, Hunter S. Thompson! I rule!

NBA PLAYOFFS UPDATE: I think the Nuggets are going to have the Lakers for breakfast in 6. That is, if they make it past the Rockets, but Houston’s pretty depleted after losing Yao. Full Disclosure: I’d love to see the Celtics survive and beat the Cavs, just like Nuggets over Lakers.

But I won’t be surprised at all if it’s Lakers/Cavs, ultimately. Kobe v. LeBron is what the NBA wants.

Read Full Post »

I will always be proud of my vote for Jesse Ventura for Minnesota Governor, despite a number of  topics on which I disagree with him. Just fearless:

UPDATES: Here’s Jesse taking on Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s talking points:

And obliterating Sean “Chicken Hawk” Hannity:

He’s a one-man wrecking crew. Going from show to show to show just owning the talking heads. Truly admirable.

It’s amazing how Hannity sputters, and just realizes that he’s arguing with a man that could defeat him honestly, intellectually, and (if he had to) physically. Jesse’s just laughing at him and his silliness.

Read Full Post »

Sweet. Don’t need to see it now.

Read Full Post »


The NBA/ESPN is already going into spin mode after last night, with Jalen Rose “discussing” (distributing talking points) about why Kobe shouldn’t get suspended for elbowing Ron Artest in the throat last night. Kobe won’t get suspended because the league (and therefore ESPN) is in the tank for a Lakers/Cavs series, just as the Gasol/Garnett trades all but guaranteed a Celtics/Lakers Finals in 2008. The converage over at ESPN is embarrassingly biased, with admitted homer JA Adande leading the pack.

Bill Plaschke has an amazingly posturing article in the LA Times, which contains this quote:

This is what happens when you get tough. This is what happens when you impose your will.

This is what happens when the league protects its superstars from fair treatment. Plaschke writes like a guy trying to get two of his friends into a fight: “Did you hear what he said about you?!” Fisher should be suspended for at least a game, and will. If Kobe gets suspended, I’ll eat my own head.

Didn’t the NBA learn anything from the wretched Suns/Spurs debacle?

Here’s hoping Denver spoils everyone’s party.

[All that being said, Kobe’s pass to himself off the backboard and dunk over Yao was EVIL. He’s just sick.]

UPDATE: The Rap Up has the best line about it yet: “Ron Artest’s Throat Viciously Attacks Kobe Bryant’s Elbow.”


“You’re hitting the wrong person. Don’t you know you’re hitting Ron Artest?”


“In this instance, [Artest] was 100 percent right.”

And Sir Charles nails it:

“There are certain guys in the league you wanna mess with. He’s not one of ’em. He’s not first on the list. He’s like down at 25.”

UPDATE ON THE UPDATE: ESPN just “reported” (read: parroted) that Fisher has been suspended. Kobe’s strike to the “chest area” has been “upgraded” to a flagrant 1. What a load of shit. Told ya.

Read Full Post »

The Point: I think you’re missing it.

This video is the greatest: the breath-y condemnation, the simple-minded logic, and the presentation of The Devil as some sort of monster-truck-rally. “We’ll sell you the seat to the Satan Truck Show, but you’re only gonna need the edge!…edge…edge…”

All of Bono’s quotes about irony and being self-effacing are completely misinterpreted as “Satanic Proof.” Prince’s quotes about having “a second person inside of me,” while undoubtedly sincere (and characteristically wacky), speak more to the dual nature of performance vs. everyday life than anything. Mick Jagger’s tattoos as proof… Good Lord. I just can’t deal with it anymore.

Yes, of course: the devil is painted red and wears horns. And he sits on your shoulder and humps it. Makes perfect sense.

MacPhisto as proof of anything other than road exhaustion? Come ON.

The lead singer of Deicide:

Q: Are you possessed right now?

A: Of course.

Of course.

UPDATE: The person who posted the video apparently doesn’t like any sort of critical linking (or critical thinking). Video is here. It’s worth it.

Read Full Post »

Larry Wilmore on Obama taking all the fun out of being black.

“What, are you kidding, people are lovin’ this!”

One hopes that there’s another “Bringing Down Da House” in production. That’ll help. And Steve Martin never slums below his talent level.

Read Full Post »


Despite the loss.

51 points. Jesus.

Best. First Round. Series. Ever.

Read Full Post »

From the Comments:

“I have that issue of Wired. It’s cover is a reference to my second-favorite TED talk (favorite is TONY ROBBINS). In it, Abrams seems to discover, at the moment he is on stage, one of the key creative aspects of a lot of his work.

“He’s talking about a “Mystery Box” that his grandfather gave him. It’s a package of (probably shitty) magic tricks, but the box itself is beguiling as hell: covered with questions marks, printed with “Mystery Box” and SEALED. He says he will never break the seal on it, because the promise of the mystery is far greater than whatever might be inside it. If I remember correctly, he has a thrilling free-associative moment (the kind you can’t have if your talks are totally structured) in which he realizes that most of his stories have a “mystery box” of one kind or another. When you think about it, the first two seasons of Lost are all about the underground vault as a Mystery Box. Awesome.”

Read Full Post »