John Wall Is An Athletic Wizard

John Wall has a Dexterity of +19 and Shorts of Leaping Cheerleaders which provide him with the ability to leap 2 rows pint-sized cheerleaders, another row of fans, in a single bound, land on a press table, keep his balance, then leap back into action. Trust me, man, it’s the Shorts.

Check the insanity:

That’s just… it’s just…

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Andrew Sullivan on Obama and his Pivotal Presidency

The best 1st year assessment I’ve seen so far. From his blog post:

…Obama is on notice that, whatever the enormity of the mess he inherited, the opposition has no sense of responsibility for any of it and will blame him for everything and anything. All he has going for him is the American public’s ability to see through the dust and fury to the realities beneath.

Sullivan’s blog has been invaluable reading this year for me. From his Iranian revolution coverage, to his pragmatic yet measured scrutiny of Obama himself, he and The Colbert Report have been air to me in a year when the atmosphere was polluted beyond recognition. Kudos, Mr. Sullivan. And to you, Mr. President.

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Matthew Ryan- Dear Lover

Well, he’s done it again.

I’d be hard pressed to think of an artist who has released as many great albums as Matthew Ryan has in the past 12 years. His latest, Dear Lover, is no different. Written from an emergency room (hopefully everything is ok now, either with Matthew’s family or himself), it’s yet another album of hopeful heartbreak, of people with bloody grins after they’ve been kicked in the teeth, of people with no Reason to Believe waiting on Amazing Grace.

Matthew’s a hard sell, I realize; he’s raw, he’s unvarnished, he’s true. Whenever I suggest him to people (which I do less than I should), I always add a warning: “Well, he’s kinda dark.” And he is. Yet I find his music endlessly uplifting, in the same way I find Shane McGowan, or Tom Waits, or The Ghost of Tom Joad uplifting. They don’t bullshit you. They don’t have time for false hope and bravado.

In Matthew’s songs, people keep going, man, they persevere. There’s a beauty in that, a humble majesty. I think one of the reasons it’s tough to spread the gospel of Mr. Ryan, of just how good he really is, is that I really feel you have to suggest him to people who look deeper, who have somewhat of a refined pallette, someone who’s not going to go, “Wow, his voice is rough.”

Yep. Sure is. Ain’t it grand?

I used to work at a record store in Minneapolis, and when we were closing, we would either put on the Flaming Lips or Tom Waits, generally ’cause they’d shake the hockey moms on out the door. One night, a woman came up late night, and asked, “Who IS this?” We were playing Rain Dogs. “It’s hideous,” she hissed. Oh, how the record store snobs laughed. I would not suggest Matthew Ryan to that woman.

And yet, I suggest Dear Lover to everyone. It’s got a Kraftwork meets early U2 meets Springsteen vibe to it. It’s raw like a journal entry, brave like a rejected first kiss. My favorites at this point are City Life, We Are Snowmen, The World Is…, and The End of a Ghost Story. I’m delighted to have a version of Some Streets Lead Nowhere, which is one of my favorites of his, ever. Spark reminds me of what it was like to hear Missing by Everything But The Girl in wintertime London.  Your Museum is a stark stained-glass piece that evokes The Waterboys; a sublime waltz in an abandoned church, decaying and crumbling buttresses open to the night sky.

The World Is… really floors me. It’s just a gorgeous piece of work. Like a man getting up to go to work in a town like Detroit, kissing his sleeping daughter, grabbing his coffee, and going to work, hoping against hope that he won’t get laid off today. The fight is fixed, but he’s lacing up his gloves regardless.

I could go on and on, really.

In the liner notes, in Matthew’s dedication, he writes:

I would suggest that you rail against the things or events that daunt you and/or your dreams with every consonant, vowel, sentence, idea and muscle in your mind and body.

Or, as Winston Churchill said,

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing, great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

Thanks again, Matthew. Keep ’em coming.

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Enhance!

My computer can totally do all of this. It’s magical.

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A Coffee Toast to Mr. McGowan During This Yuletide Season, Man

Absolutely, unequivocally heartbreaking (and not just ’cause Kirsty is no longer with us):

There’s so many great Christmas songs: Sting’s Gabriel’s Message, Matthew Ryan’s Little Drummer Boy, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by anyone, haunting melody after haunting melody. But there’s something about Shane McGowan’s voice that just crushes me. Makes me wish for Paul Westerberg to do a Christmas song. ‘Course, Paul would probably do something like “Santa Baby” just to piss everyone off.

Dammit, Paul, you’re ruining Christmas!

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The Comedic Stylings of Atheist Cat

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Happy T.hanksgiving You the Finger

It’s a good holiday:

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RiP! A Remix Manifesto: Girl Talk, U2, and Walt Disney as Remixer

Just watched Brett Gaylor’s Rip! A Remix Manifesto on Hulu last night. I’m actually shocked that NBC, Fox and ABC (Disney) would have this online, in this format; despite its lionization of Disney the Man, Disney the Company is really taken to task here. Maybe it’s the “if we join them, they will disappear” belief. Or maybe they (Los Corporations Grandes) figure the animals have already left the zoo, and they can’t stop it, exhibited by their mere acceptance of Hulu as a business model. Don’t know.

What I do know is that the film is pretty damn good. I’ve been loosely paying attention to these issues since the U2 vs. Negativland debacle in the early nineties, which really made U2 look backwards at a time when they were actually creating some pretty forwards-looking music. I think Negativland would have looked a bit more serious if they hadn’t included the cover, which is pretty much a giant “U2” over a much smaller “Negativland.” You can claim “culture jamming” all you want, but when you transparently are looking for huge sales by being cheeky, I understand Island’s concern. Maybe not the legal overreaction, but the concern is valid.

(I also think Greg Ginn’s re-release with Negativ(e)land: Live on Tour album on SST is about as brilliant a response as possible- Negativland may have posed and said, “EXACTLY! That’s what we’re talking about!” but the loss of their “intellectual property” and the realization of Ginn’s masterful chess move must have stung a little.)

Regardless, I think Rip! and Girl Talk (the “band” that Gaylor champions- those quotes are not sarcastic, it’s actually one guy) are completely necessary right now, and Girl Talk to me is more of an idea than an actual band. (Much like The Sex Pistols are a better idea than a band- Never Mind the Bollocks… is a pretty good album, but it’s a better call-to-arms. The Clash were 10 times the band the Pistols were.) I love the idea of “everything is fair game, ’cause we’re all the same person” and I think the spirit of Girl Talk is much more interesting than the actual music- I listen to the songs and think, “That’s interesting,” but there’s an aspect of it (to me) that seems like a novelty. It’s not the music that’s important, it’s the crowd’s reaction to said music- much like the Pistols, it’s the movement that’s the star. And I think Girl Talk completely understands that.

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Rammstein vs. Cookie Monster

Pretty much the greatest thing in the history of the world:

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U2- Moment of Surrender Live at the Rose Bowl

This song floors me. It’s great on record, fantastic live.

Here’s Eno talking about the creation of the song, discussing how the song pretty much came through them. Which is what I think the best art does and best artists do: it’s allowed to be revealed, and the artists are ego-less enough to get the hell out of the way.

Eno in The Independent:

Eno fought hard to keep the band from messing too much with the original track. “These fucking guys,” he says with a smile, “they’re supposed to be so spiritual — they don’t spot a miracle when it hits them in the face. Nothing like that ever happened to me in the studio in my whole life.”

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Greg Behrendt and the Reigning Monarchs

Always have dug Greg’s stand-up since seeing him at Largo in Los Angeles during his Bring the Rock nights and for his peerless celebration of Zack Wylde’s interview in Guitar Player.

And even though he betrayed males everywhere with He’s Just Not That Into You (only half-kidding here- our Game must evolve), his band The Reigning Monarchs is tre´ baddass. A little swing, a little ska, some surf rock and punk. Very, very nice. Check it all out (and buy) here.

Plus, …And Then They Were Upon Us is one of the greatest song titles ever.

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