This Could Actually Happen

And by this, I mean Nuggets defeat Lakers and Kobe (tied 2-2), Magic defeat Cavs and the Chosen One (Magic up 3-1). And it would make David Stern cry. And so many others so, so happy.

I’ve been stunned by the (relative) even-keel officiating in these playoffs (besides the occasional bullshit T on Howard). Even when the refs are trying like hell to keep the Cavs in it, the Magic have been finding a way to pull it out. And we’re slowly seeing that the Lakers don’t have enough pieces around them to stop a team like the Nuggets, one that bangs ’em around, has an unflappable point guard in Mr. Big Shot, and hits from outside with JR Smith.

All the Kobe vs. LeBron talk could be for naught. (And by the way, HOLY F**K, ESPN with your stupid-ass ‘Could LeBron have played football?’ articles. I don’t know. Do you think the Hulk could beat the Thing in a fight? SHUT UP.) The (admittedly great) Kobe/LeBron puppets could go to waste. All because two teams said, “Wait a minute. We’re still here. We will beat you and the refs.” The sheer amount of disrespect the national media have given Denver and Orlando is mind-boggling.

And could someone please explain to me how Magic Johnson is allowed to commentate on a game when he owns a stake in the f*cking Lakers? How could he possibly be considered impartial? Or even allowed to open his mouth to comment on the game? Are they not even pretending anymore?

Honestly, look at these pages. Not one “expert” picked the Nuggets or Magic to win the series. Not one. They’re all in the tank for a Lakers/Cavs series. Just tragic.

Go Denver. Go Magic. Whew. I feel better.

THE GREAT NIKE PUPPET COMMERCIALS (Credit where credit is due):

The Cookie One:

“Beef and Broccoli!”

The Chalk One (which is great because the whole chalk bullshit is a move that Lebron ripped off from KG):

“Why do we live together?”

Here’s a couple of nice articles: first is Rick Reilly’s ‘Letter to God’ pleading for a Denver Championship. Here’s my favorite of late, former ‘Strib writer Steve Aschburner’s great take on the LeBron ref bias. From Dwight Howard’s blog:

“I told y’all the other day that we find it really disrespectful that everybody seems to be pulling for LeBron and Kobe [Bryant] to get to the Finals,” Howard posted Memorial Day morning. “Every time I look at TV, it seems like that’s all anybody is talking about. It’s like nobody is even giving us a shot at winning this series and we’ve used it as motivation.

“We’re up 2-to-1 and we have a long way to go vs. the Cavs, but hopefully we can mess up those plans of getting Cleveland and L.A. in the Finals. If the lil’ ol’ Magic make it, what will they say then? … Nobody out there on ESPN thinks that we can do it, but we think we have everything that it takes right now to bring that ‘ship back to O-town. Aiiight, y’all I guess I gotta go watch another one of these LeBron and Kobe commercials on TV. Naw, just kiddin’.”

Read Full Post »

Could ESPN Be Any More Blatantly Biased Towards The Lakers?

The NBA/ESPN is already going into spin mode after last night, with Jalen Rose “discussing” (distributing talking points) about why Kobe shouldn’t get suspended for elbowing Ron Artest in the throat last night. Kobe won’t get suspended because the league (and therefore ESPN) is in the tank for a Lakers/Cavs series, just as the Gasol/Garnett trades all but guaranteed a Celtics/Lakers Finals in 2008. The converage over at ESPN is embarrassingly biased, with admitted homer JA Adande leading the pack.

Bill Plaschke has an amazingly posturing article in the LA Times, which contains this quote:

This is what happens when you get tough. This is what happens when you impose your will.

This is what happens when the league protects its superstars from fair treatment. Plaschke writes like a guy trying to get two of his friends into a fight: “Did you hear what he said about you?!” Fisher should be suspended for at least a game, and will. If Kobe gets suspended, I’ll eat my own head.

Didn’t the NBA learn anything from the wretched Suns/Spurs debacle?

Here’s hoping Denver spoils everyone’s party.

[All that being said, Kobe’s pass to himself off the backboard and dunk over Yao was EVIL. He’s just sick.]

UPDATE: The Rap Up has the best line about it yet: “Ron Artest’s Throat Viciously Attacks Kobe Bryant’s Elbow.”

Artest:

“You’re hitting the wrong person. Don’t you know you’re hitting Ron Artest?”

Kenny:

“In this instance, [Artest] was 100 percent right.”

And Sir Charles nails it:

“There are certain guys in the league you wanna mess with. He’s not one of ’em. He’s not first on the list. He’s like down at 25.”

UPDATE ON THE UPDATE: ESPN just “reported” (read: parroted) that Fisher has been suspended. Kobe’s strike to the “chest area” has been “upgraded” to a flagrant 1. What a load of shit. Told ya.

Read Full Post »

Kobe Bryant is an Assassin

What a great game the other night, Lakers vs. Celts. I, of course, despite living in LA, will always cheer for KG. Always. My favorite player of all time. I love his game, his attitude, his intensity. One of my heroes.

But Kobe hit that late 3 last night, the one that Reggie Miller described as “cold-blooded.” And it was. Just deadly.

When it was Shaq and Kobe, I always hated Shaq. Not because he isn’t funny, or personable, or a great ambassador for the game. I hated him because the NBA let him charge on every single fucking play. Elbows. Running over people. Charges.

And the NBA just let it happen. Because he was so marketable.

Blatantly Dishonorable.

(My caveat, of course, is that apparently Shaq paid for George Mikan’s funeral. That is one of the classiest things I’ve ever heard about in my life. Shaqtastic!)

I don’t think the NBA knows how many fans they’ve lost because of charges not getting called, players constantly carrying the ball, missed travel calls. Old school basketball fans look at it and say, “No thanks. I’ll watch college ball.”

I love pure basketball players. Tim Duncan (although I hate how whiney and chippy the Spurs as a whole have become). Steve Nash. Reggie Miller. Ray Allen. Garnett. Chauncey Billups. Rip Hamilton. Hell, Derek Fisher.

I got into an argument with a guy once about D Fish or Stevie Franchise. I was all about Fish (once again, despite hating the lake-less Lakers). The guy was all about “Franchise.” History has kicked that guy in the nuts for me.

So I’m watching the game last night, cheering for the Celts (as any good Minnesotan does now that Garnett plays for ’em- AUGGH! That late bullshit phantom 6th foul call on Garnett!) and Kobe hit that late three. And I just thought, “That’s the best player in basketball right now.” Kobe has it all. Range, evil moves, cold-bloodedness, psychotically high basketball IQ, he’s just beyond. Lebron, of course, is unreal, but the four steps to the basket can get a bit much.

I remember watching a T-Wolves vs. Lakers game in the Target Center, and some moron yelled out, “Hey Kobe, you’re still not Michael Jordan.”

Could that idiot have missed the point more? I would’ve loved to see Kobe turn around and yell, “No, I’m not. I’m Kobe goddamn Bryant, and I’m destroying your team by myself.

Much respect. And that’s from a guy who doesn’t say things like “much respect.”

I’m still not calling you “Mamba,” though.

Read Full Post »