Yes, I know it was against the Clippers. Don’t care.
The Wolves are winning 35 this year, barring injuries. And then we get to hear all the ESPN lemmings walk back their “TWolves will be worst in league” lazy reporting.
ESPN’s highlight reel makes it seem as if the Clippers won the game- all Clippers plays until the end dagger. Ah, NBA/ESPN- how reliable that you’ll ALWAYS tout the major market over everything. No respect. Here’s hoping Billy Joel, punk rocker, shows up at some point:
During the 1994 Grammy Award Show, the director cut short Frank Sinatra‘s acceptance speech for receiving the Lifetime Achievement Award. Joel extended his performance of “The River of Dreams” by stopping the song partway through, looking at the celebrity audience with a grin while pretending to check his watch and saying, “valuable advertising time going by…dollars…dollars…dollars…” which was met with laughter from the audience. He then resumed playing the song.
I don’t follow college ball, mostly because I went to art school, and I don’t have an alma mater team, unless there’s a World Champion Thunderdome of Chiaroscuro or Font Kerning of which I am unaware, where you’re allowed to use a color wheel, linseed oil and a mace. (The Color-arnage!) I do, however, follow the NBA like a sterilizing rash I need to keep an eye on, lest it flare up and destroy my swimmers.
My team, the T-Wolves, is, well, agonizingly bad despite a potentially encouraging future (possible Ricky Rubio, 217 draft picks this year, Kevin Love, and an improving Corey Brewer.). And despite the fact that David Stern is, well, a wretched person (2007 Suns-Spurs debacle; the New York Ewing crapfest; the 2006 NBA Finals screw-job against Dallas- and I hate Dallas, but they were HOSED by the officials. Don’t believe me? Do a Google search for “2006 NBA Finals.” What’s the 2nd and third choices? Smoke there’s fire, son), I keep getting drawn in like a tubby kid passing Cold Stone Creamery.
I also always check out Canis Hoopus (weird, unhealthy Darko-mania indeed), the T-Wolves fan blog that has like, 20 guys on it that are either basketball savants, or they work in mind-numbingly boring jobs in Minneapolis skyways and have nothing better to do than run complicated algorithms on Evan Turner vs. John Wall. Most likely a combination of the two. Not that I’m complaining- I love the site. Makes me feel like I’m still ice-fishing instead of cursing a blue-streak at L.A. drivers. But it can be discouraging: “Yeah, I follow ball a bit.” No, you don’t, dood. Not like these guys do.
The point is this: because of the Hoopus guys salivating over the chance that the Wolves get the number one pick (we won’t- we’re McHaled- the new synonym for “doomed”) and running the numbers on Ohio State’s Evan Tuner, I was introduced to one Mark Titus, Pine-Rider Extraordinaire.
Check the style, one-time:
(Warrant song is great, but it could use a “Heaven Isn’t Too Far Away” third chorus key-change to elevate it to Code Awesome.)
Mark’s blog ‘n charity here. Buy a t-shirt. Help some kids, dammit.
KENWOODE UPDATE: Been quite the slug in 2010, I know. Just moved, had some freelance illustration to finish, and I’m finally settling down. I really do have finished pages to post, so I’ll be doing that this weekend. Promise. (Takes shot of tequila)
There’s a 6.3% chance that the T-Wolves get ‘im. I know I’m dreaming, but what the hell. Can you imagine? Griffin, Big Al and K Love down low? Those muggs could do some damage.
I’d also take Ricky Rubio. Or Harden. (Lord knows, we could use a point guard.) Or Thabeet. But knowing the McHale Curse, we’ll drop to the 6th pick. AARGH!!!
(When the Wolves went on a 10-2 run in Jan, I told a guy that they’d win 35 this year. Then Big Al went out. They won 24 without Big Al, and lost a ton by 8 or less points. Had we remained healthy, I stand by my 35 prediction.)
UPDATE: Apparently, the Wolves won the toss between them and Memphis; they now have a 7.6% chance of the first pick. Here’s hoping Stern doesn’t pull a New York Knicks-Patrick Ewing-fix. Yeah, I said it.
Kenwoode 